Love is a very strong word. It comes with expectations, emotions, commitments and sacrifices. It brings forth vulnerability and trust. Above all, it is a choice. You choose to love the person no matter what imperfections you see every single day.
As Billy Joel sang:
‘So I would choose to be with you
That's if the choice were mine to make
But you can make decisions too
And you can have this heart to break’
Love holds a special form of pain and vulnerability that nothing else brings, but it also brings beautiful memories with indescribable joy and excitement unlike anything else. It makes us bigger than ourselves.
The question here though, is what kind of lover are you?
Givers, as the word suggests, love by constantly giving. Your partner’s needs come before yours, and you will do anything within your means to make your partner happy. You are generous and tend to show your affections by giving gifts to your partner and giving in to your partner.
While this is good, do remember that as givers, you need to recharge and feel loved too. You do not want to reach a point of exhaustion and allow things to go downhill from there. Givers like to feel appreciated and that is all they need to keep them happy and to continue giving.
Romantics have a perfect ideal scenario of what love is. They love the notion of being in love and go all out to woo someone by planning beautiful and sweet surprises constantly. They live in a ‘love bubble’ and are easily swept away by their lovers. While romantics are amazing to date, they can often be unrealistic about what love is and gets disappointed when their ideal definition of love does not go accordingly.
Having a romantic bone in anyone is a good thing. It is sweet and creates beautiful memories. However, being practical and realistic is important too! Have a combination of both and you are off to an amazing finishing line
Players like the chase. It is ALL about the chase and getting the prize. They see love as a challenge for them to conquer and they hate commitments. They are easily bored with long-term relationships and will start hunting for the next challenge.
Players are not ideal for long-term relationships as they will break hearts. If you choose to date a player, be prepared for consequences and heartaches.
Stables are the opposite of players. They crave stability, consistency and are happy with companionship. They plan ahead and go into a relationship looking to settle down. They do not see their partner as a prize or challenge. They see their partner as someone that they wish to grow old with.
Stables are ideal for long-term relationships, but stables have to take note that relationships need effort too and at times, it will be great to add in some romance and excitement to spice things up
Obsessives like to spend every single moment with their partner. They check in constantly and expect to know at any given time, where their partner is, and what their partner is doing. They worry about their relationship and they are insecure about their position in it.
For obsessives, it is important to know that trust is an essential element in any relationship and by stifling your partner this way, it will cause unhappiness and will not work out in the long term
Over-lookers like to avoid any form of conflict and hence, they choose to overlook and sweep things under the blanket. When they are unhappy about certain issues, instead of voicing it out, they rather put up with it to keep the relationship status quo. They allow themselves to be punching bags for their partner and takes it all in.
For over-lookers, it is important to note that while you deal with issues this way, there will be a limit to how much you can take. Instead of being unhappy with what is going on, try taking steps to voice things out and have faith that your relationship will grow from this instead of getting destroyed
The loyals will never allow circumstances to change how they feel about their partner. Through the ups and downs, the thicks and thins, they will stand by their partner and support them in all that they do. They take pride in being the person that their partner can turn to, to be the stabilising force and to always be there for them.
Loyals are great for long-term relationships. They just have to take note that communication is the key to sustaining them and the relationship.
Passionates are usually very sexually active and they show their love by spending a lot of time pleasing their partner in bed. They take pride in it and cannot imagine a relationship without intimacy. For passionates, it is important to note that a relationship is not just about sex, but a combination of various
While this is not an extensive and exhaustive list of the kind of lovers there are out there, we hope it sheds some light on the various kinds of lovers there are out there. It is common to have a combination of the various in varying degrees, according to your personality type. At the end of the day, LOVE is about choosing to believe the best in someone when you see the worse in them. Enjoy the journey and know that choosing love over the fear of pain will enrich your life in ways you can never imagine.